6-12-14 – Throw Back Thursday

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Throw Back Thursday: A Message from Rhyme

This was originally posted four years ago. I read it and it amused me, so I’m making sure y’all see it again!

(Rhyme was one of the Bookworms, brother to Corbie.)

PLEASE TO BE PAYING ATTENTION. THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM RHYME.

Dear Peoples of the Internets:

Please to be telling your cats of this very important change in the rules. This is VERY IMPORTANT, and all members of the feline persuasion must follow these instructions very carefully in the future or FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.

When you have the horrible runny poopies that makes the Momma Lady (or perhaps you have a Daddy Man, I’m not judging you) despair, this is what you must do:

First you gets into the litter box, and you digs. You digs and digs and digs, and then when you think you might be done digging, you digs some more. There is no such thing as too much diggings. If you want to get fancy, you can start to get into poopin’ position and then decide to do more diggings.

When you has gotten the desire for diggings out of your system, you gets into the hole that you has dug. Now, VERY IMPORTANT, you must have your back feets at the lowest part of the hole you dug. SUPER IMPORTANT, this point.

Then you poops. You knows how to do that. Hopefully. ‘Cause Rhyme ain’t coming to lick your behind to get you to poops. If you were wondering.

So then, because you is standing at the lowest point of the hole, the horrible runny despair-inducing poops will run down into the hole.

Because your Momma Lady (or Daddy Man) has been standing there because she thinks it is somehow her (or his) business what your poops look like (perhaps the Momma Lady/ Daddy Man needs to get a life), she will react by perhaps gasping or saying “Oh no!” and she will lean down to gently lift you from the poopin’ box before you gets poops all over your feet.

But it will be too late.

PLEASE TO BE PAYING ATTENTION THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PART OF RUNNY POOP RITUAL.

You will have runny poops on your back feet and if you have done this correctly you will have LITTER-ENCRUSTED runny poops on your back feet. As your Momma Lady (Daddy Man) lifts you, you must wait until your back feets is above the level of the poopin’ box. And then you must call upon all your acting skills. You must look all wide-eyed like you are thinking “Le gasp! I has something on my back feets! Kitteh cannot have something on his back feets!” and with all your strength you must SHAKE first one back feet and then the OTHER back feet, so that litter-encrusted poops goes flying EVERYWHERE.

“GAH!” your Momma Lady (Daddy Man) will say. “GAH! AGH! AHHHHH!”

Now quick like a bunny, shake BOTH OF THEM FEETS AT THE SAME TIME. More poopins will go flying! All over the place! The point is to get as much poopy litter to cover as much of the room as possible!

If your parental figure is anything like mine, there will be many very bad words flying around in the air.

Now wriggle! WRIGGLE WRIGGLE WRIGGLE so that you cannot be contained and must be put down. And then run. RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! Get as much runny poop smeared all over the floor as you can before she comes to her (his) senses and grabs you by your scruff to contain you.

(Ugh, the scruff. SO UNDIGNIFIED, being contained by my scruff!)

Now, I is sorry to tells you that you has to suffer through the final act of the Runny Poop Chronicles when your Momma Lady/ Daddy Man gets out the gentle baby body wash and washes your feet and back end and anywhere else the poop might have gone. It cannot be helped – you just has to suffer through it. Practice your sad face, and it will make them feel bad.

(But they might use more very bad words when they walk around cleaning up all the poop smears you left behind. Serves them right, I say.)

Sincerely with love and is it Snackin’! Time! yet?,

Rhymbus T. Bookworm

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It’s about time to get pictures that include all the Cheez Doodles, isn’t it? I think it is!


Was there a feather teaser up there capturing their attention, ya think?


Everyone’s looking in my general direction, but Gilbert’s too low to show up. Mooch, of course, is perfect.


A closeup of Grant’s sweet face.


I really like this one. Left to right: Marshall, Grant, Mooch, Gilbert, Blaster.


This would have been perfect, but Gilbert was like “See ya!” and skedaddled.


Blaster made a jump for the feather teaser.


Grant explains the ceiling fan, but Marshall is all “Don’t listen, Gilbert!”


I really like this one, too.


Modeling is exhausting!


Snack time! Dennis always hangs back at snack time, but I pick him up and put him in there so he can partake, too. There’s room for him, so why not?

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Pretty, pretty Tom Cullen.

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Previously
2013: “I bite you butt.”
2012: “But I’m comfy right here!”
2011: Greg Brady update!
2010: No entry.
2009: No entry.
2008: Drama Kitty is Very Dramatic.
2007: Tommy and Sugarbutt: Brudderly Love.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.

Comments

Comments

6-12-14 – Throw Back Thursday — 29 Comments

  1. Great pictures!! I bet we see a couple of these pop around the internetz. Glad you watermarked them!!

    I do love a yellow tabby. Or buff tabby.

  2. great timing on this post… I have a cat who only a few moments ago, did the barf thing to match the runny poop thing. She was sitting on the window sill behind my chair and I heard the gagging, whipping around trying to get her on the floor. all the while she is throwing up, I am gagging. Barf landing on, a recliner, a book, 2 chargers, 2 purses- one tote easily washed- but the other; sniff sniff, my best leather and fabric cross body bag, RIGHT ON the leather and zipper part, of course. Much gagging on my part trying to clean it all up while chasing other cat away from barfy piles trying to “help” in the kitty ways we all know. all before 7am

  3. The post from a year ago was one of my favorites of my pretty puffy boy Hook! His motto is still pretty much paws up cause life is good! That boy is so laid back!

  4. Thank you, Rhyme. Seltzer just shot out of my nose. At my new job. Because I am dignified like that.

    I don’t know what it is about Mooch, because heaven knows you’ve fostered other kittehs with similar markings, but I am absolutely in LOVE with his adorable little self. He is so frickin PRETTY!!!!

    • I think it’s the shape of his eyes! I don’t know what it is, but they really draw you in.

      And you’ll be pleased to know that he’s as sweet as he is beautiful. 🙂

  5. Of course, Dennis needs a snack! Such a cute litter, but aren’t they all?

    Ah yes, the butt baths! I had a rather unsociable adult cat who developed a single severe case of the runs one morning before I went to work. She had it all over her behind and back legs. I gingerly carried her to the bathtub. (I know what you’re thinking 😉 Put her in the tub with her butt below the faucet. She let me wash her off! Didn’t make a sound or fuss–nothing! Afterward, I put her on the vinyl floor and she proceeded to finish the grooming. To this day, I still can’t believe it happened so effortlessly.

  6. I’m looking at that picture of snack time and I want to see them rotate and do some group dancing a la Ester Williams or an old Hollywood musical.

    I don’t understand why people haven’t snapped up Tricki or Orlando or Angelo or Livia….

  7. Oh, I remember that post by Rhyme! It made me laugh just as much this time as the first. And, Dennis, PLEASE find your forever home because you are just killing me!

  8. My Marmie walked around most of the yesterday with a dingle berry. I kept hoping gravity would work it’s magic. Nope. Finally, I reached out and grabbed it, blah! And all I got for my gross-out trouble was a serious glare from da cat. “hey, I was saving that! Of course, hubby thought the whole event was hysterical!
    Can you tell we don’t have kids? 50+ and still laughing at poop jokes

  9. Seriously, how can you possibly function with that much gingery cuteness in the house?

  10. Hi Robyn,
    I just got back from a book reading by David Sedaris. Had a great time. I love his stuff. It never fails to make me LOL. However,
    I would give the win to you today with the repost of the Ryhme runny poops story. Sorry David, this time the kitty wins.

  11. We really like those groups shots, and appreciate how hard it is to capture them. But is that Marshall oppressing Gilbert in that second group shot? Boy, learning fast, that one! MOL!