7-17-12 – Guest Post, by Stompers

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Dear Peoples of the Internets,

Hello! It is I, Stompers, typing a guest post for you as a special surprise! I bet you didn’t know I could type, did you? Well, never underestimate the Stomps, is what I always say.

First of all, I had the MOST terrifying, horrible night. That evil lady (who I like sometimes, because she lets me lay on her while she watches trashy reality TV) locked me and my foster sibling Taters in the guest bedroom overnight with not ONE SINGLE BITE of food. I’m surprised that I didn’t waste away to a mere slip of myself. Then, not only did THAT happen, but when she opened the door, did she beg forgiveness and then immediately give us food? She did NOT. She grabbed up my foster sibling Taters and put them in a carrier, and then she put me BACK in the room (at least she did give me some food) and then she SHUT THE DOOR.

I was not happy about this in the slightest, let me tell you. So I cried and cried, and then I forgot why I was crying, and I ate and took a nap, and then the evil lady opened the door and set me free. But first she gave me six thousand kisses, which she totally owed me.

Then she was all like “Hey Stompies, you wanna go visit the other kittens?” and I was like “I don’t know what ‘visit’ means, and I don’t know what you mean by ‘other kittens’, but yeah. Okay. Whatevs.”

PEOPLE. Did you KNOW that there’s a room with lots of other kittens in it? DID you? Because I did not, and yet it is somehow TRUE. It was like an entire ‘nother world!

There was this guy, Blue Collar, who said “I don’t know you, so ordinarily I’d put on my Stranger Danger floof, but I’m not going to because I’m trying to be nice. But watch yourself.”

Then he was like “Don’t you touch this purple box or I’ll hurt you. It’s MINE. I don’t gotta share it with YOU. I gotta share it with my brothers sometimes, but not YOU, stranger.”

Then there was this guy, Green Collar, who laid down next to me so I could bunny-kick his behind (which is maybe not what he intended to happen, but it seemed like the obvious step to me.)

Then Green Collar pretended to swipe at me and I pretended to swipe back.

Then I just sat and watched them all run around. There was a MILLION of them!

I tried to play with these feathers, but I couldn’t stop watching the other kittens.

Green Collar and Blue Collar got into a fight, and then Green Collar stole the purple box and turned it over and climbed inside and said “Ha! Ha! I got your purple box, Stupidhead!” Which is kind of rude, if you ask me. Blue Collar just said “I don’t care! It doesn’t bother me!”, but I think he was lying a little bit.

I just watched, because you don’t get between two brothers. They have to work it out themselves.

There was a really neat cat tree in there, and I checked it out.

Green Collar was all “Stick with me, kid!”

And then we might have touched noses. I don’t usually touch noses on the first meeting, but he seemed okay.

I played with the track toy they have in there, which is WAY BETTER (though exactly the same) as the track toy I keep in my room.

Then I smacked at the feathers some, while Green Collar coached me.

The lady decided that I’d spent enough time around the new kitties, and we left the room. She read for a little while, and I kept her neck warm with my belly and my purrs.

Now I’m going to take a nap, and after that I think we’re going to watch some fine quality reality TV. Housewives or something? I don’t know.

So, okay, g’night. You can go. I’ll be okay. She doesn’t think I know this, but Miz Poo is under the bed keeping an eye on me. Later, I’ll probably snuffle around in her belly fur, and she’ll hiss and run away.

I love that game!

xoxo,

Stompers.

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Previously
2011: No entry.
2010: No entry.
2009: No entry.
2008: Kaylee will not be deterred.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.

Comments

Comments

7-17-12 – Guest Post, by Stompers — 39 Comments

  1. Aww, isn’t he the cutest thing in the whole wide world? Kisses, StompyPoo.

  2. Awww Cutest guest post EVER!! Stompers should become a reg commentator!

    Robin I just got a baby kitten for the first time in 23 years. I am so out of my league! Who knew a kitten would be so much different that the old obsess kitties I normally adopt? Anyway we are on the hunt for the perfect kitten toys. Right off hand what are the toys your kittens love the most besides the De-bird? That thing is a hit from ages 1 to 99. Toys for old obsess grouchy cats dont seem to have the same appeal for the new baby kitten. HEEELLLPPPPPPPPP???

    • Just off the top of my head (I’ll do a more comprehensive list on Friday), they love those round ball tracks like this, they adore the rings off of milk jugs, and if you don’t drink your milk out of a plastic jug, you can buy a set of these, and they love to toss toy mice – like this around.

      As for things you have laying around, straws are a perennial favorite, crumpled-up pieces of tinfoil are awesome, and even just crumpled up pieces of paper. Anything they can bat around and chase, they’re going to love!

      • if you have never used pingpong balls for kitten toys, you are missing out on some wild fun.

        pretty much anything small enough for them to move easily with their paw but can’t swallow is a good cat toy. fishing pole type toys are good for burning off energy. Best cat toy? YOU!

        • For a little extra I bought ping pong balls that were painted or stamped to look like soccer balls. Somewhere I have pix of my kittens batting their little soccer balls against the kitchen walls and cabinets. Hilarious. Of course that was 15 years ago….

  3. What a time you had Stompers! I am very glad you got some food, and you got to visit some other cats! Very cool! I bet the best part was all the kisses though. Here’s another **smooch**

  4. I. LOVE. IT. So incredibly cute. Too bad Stompers is already adopted, or I might have to drive to Alabama and get him. I would arrange for guest appearances on David Letterman.

  5. Oh my God, this is hilarious! I love it when you put words into the wee kitten’s mouth and this was just icing on the cake making it from the Stomps himself! I don’t know what I did all those years not having Love and Hisses to provide me with so much kitty humor…love it! Thanks for sharing it all with us Robyn!!

  6. Oh, so cute. Stompers totally looks like he could be a littermate of the ‘Maters. A LitterMater!

    I think you may have answered this question before, but how does he compare, size-wise, to them? They all look pretty comparable from the photos.

    • He and Caspian (blue collar) are the same size, now! The other ‘Maters are a bit bigger, but not by much.

      • Stompers looks HUGE to me compared to Caspian. Kind of chunky. On the other hand, black is very slimming.

        Glad that Stompy’s finally putting some weight and looking healthy.

  7. Thank you, Stompers. This is exactly what I needed this afternoon. I hope you enjoy your TV shows! πŸ™‚

  8. Robyn-I didn’t realize you also ran a Kittengarten at your home! From his writing skills, I’d guess Stompers must be your star pupil! Or perhaps class clown?

  9. Happy dance πŸ™‚
    Perfect bedtime story ,The Adventures of Stompy.
    Night night

  10. I’m looking forward to Stompers and Caspian commentating at the British Open later this week.

  11. Oh my gosh! That was far far far too cute! Stompers looked so overwhelmed but enjoying himself at the same time! I love it when they are watching something so hard they forget they’re playing with a toy/feather!
    I see Miz Poo peeking under there.. She’s hiding from the Stompmaster?

  12. Hey Stompers, when you say “no food”, do you like, mean NOTHING?? Like not even crumbs around the bowl??? ‘cuz dude, that is SCARY. Man, if my Mom did that I’d lose my poop, let me tell you. I’ve been known to lick the inside of my empty crunchie bowl when it doesn’t get filled fast enough. Don’t get me started when it’s time for gooshy food…

    ‘kay bye.

    From Malcolm the Orange Dude-Cat

    • I left a scattering of food on the tray, but I’m sure that SOMEONE ate that food all up within a matter of moments because he was afraid he might starve!

  13. Stompers! What a big adventure you had today!! But you tell that lady she better feed you on schedule for now on less we be forced to swoop down there and rescue you! πŸ˜‰

  14. Oh Stompers, you come right over here and I’ll give you all the food you can handle and a squillion kisses..

  15. Stompers and Miz Poo in one picture! Robyn, when you’re done kissing little Stompers, please give him another one for me! πŸ˜€

  16. Thank you for that glimpse into your diary Stompers I totally appreciate it. You tell that mean ol’ lady who takes care of you to give you extra snuggles and food tomorrow to make up for everything and then let me know how it goes when your friends get back πŸ˜‰

  17. ohh, aw that was so cute! thanks little stompy-man. such skill with the typed word. robyn you must give him elebenty million kisses just from me!